New Yorker cartoonist Rusty Epstein He helped judge last month’s caption contest, which featured his drawing. It is set in a front yard, where a firefighter and a girl watch an elephant trapped in a tree and sitting on a branch. The girl says or shouts something to the elephant. It appears that she is covering her mouth with her hands so that her voice can carry further, but it could be that she is simply covering her mouth with her hands because she is dismayed or in shock. In the background you can see a fire truck.
Epstein’s original legend suggests that the elephant is a domestic pet that took advantage of a brief opportunity to escape. “I opened the door and he came out.” One of you made a similar joke: “The alarming thing is that it is an indoor elephant.” I have a problem with both subtitles because the girl is addressing the firefighter when, in my opinion, she is clearly talking to the elephant, but Epstein maintains that I’m wrong (he maintains that the drawing can be interpreted either way) and it’s hard to argue with the cartoonist.
That being said, here are the best entries where the girl addresses the firefighter:
- “You don’t usually see elephants hiding in trees because they are very good at it.”
- “He never forgets. Except how to get down.”
- “Like I told 911, Mittens is gray and has a tail.”
- “He’s always putting himself in danger.”
- “Well, look what the cat dragged in.”
That last entry is a good example of how to turn a common expression into a suitable title by changing a single word, which in this case is the punchline. I also like the way it addresses the “firefighter rescuing a cat” theme. Unfortunately, as Bob pointed out, the idea that a cat could drag an elephant up a tree is just too absurd.
Speaking of cat jokes, here are the best ones:
- “Hey, you’re sitting on my cat!”
- “I told you not to chase the cat.”
The misconception that elephants fear mice is a comedic trope that several of you have referred to:
- “If you thought that mouse was scary, wait until you see a squirrel.”
- “We caught the mouse!”
- “A mouse is also a pet.”
Trevor liked the way the last entry captured a girl’s voice (I did too), but I really loved the first of those three mouse jokes, which wonderfully addresses not only the “fear of mice” angle but also the fact that the elephant is in a tree.
Unlike the myth about elephants and mice, the idea that elephants have remarkably strong memories is supported by scientific evidence. Here are the two best allusions to that fact:
- “Can’t you just forget I ever said that?”
- “Did you forget how to get down?”
Because the elephant is the official symbol of the Republican Party, we have a current reference to President Trump’s penchant for renaming iconic places like the Gulf of Mexico (now Gulf of America) and Lake Ontario (now Lake America). “Sorry, American elephant.” That joke is especially clever because there are only three recognized living species of elephant (two African, one Asian, and no American), and I love the suggestion that the elephant climbed the tree to sulk because, like Trump, it was petulant and easily offended.
This next entry, the best of many References to the “elephant in the room” trope also suggest that the girl offended the elephant: “Well, I’m coming to you now!” That entry was submitted without the necessary comma, but rather than reject the title for those reasons we decided to add the comma because our correction did not change the meaning or flow of the joke. That decision may be controversial, but we stand by it.
Speaking of controversies, you may question our love for a title that ends with an exclamation point, but we object to that punctuation mark only when it’s unnecessary. In this drawing, the girl appears to be screaming, so an exclamation point is fine.
The next set of entries focuses on the elephant’s tremendous weight, and some suggest that it may be sensitive about it:
- “He’ll climb up, turn you on your back, and come down.”
- “Don’t worry. The firefighter will catch you.”
- “It says you’ll fall any minute.”
- “He’s reluctant to help after you broke the ladder.”
- “How are you doing on the stairs?”
- “He says to stay completely still until your shift is over.”
- “You just have big bones.”
I really loved that first title, it created a mental image that made me laugh out loud, but none of the other judges liked it as much as I did.
The next three subtitles explain how the elephant climbed the tree:
- “I asked you to stay away from my diving board.”
- “I unplugged the Roomba.”
- “Try flapping again.”
That last title is clearly a reference to Dumbo, who uses his giant ears to fly, but I wonder if it’s also a reference (and yes, I know how vain that sounds) to the winning entry I submitted for a New Yorker caption contest featuring this drawing by Drew Dernavich:
Here’s the best dark joke of the month: “Come down or the next call is to Steinway!”
Here is the best allusion to the fact that elephants face extinction: “Yes, you are in danger now.”
And here is the best reference to the size, immense power, intelligence and calm and majestic behavior of the elephant: “It looks majestic: the news van just arrived.”
I’ll end this month’s commentary with two entries that suggest that, from its perch in the tree, the elephant can see long distances:
- “You’ll never find Africa from Moonachie, New Jersey!”
- “He wants to know if he sees any fires.”
Congratulations to JOHN KONNO, who submitted the winning title: “Well, I’m coming to you now.”
The five finalists are:
- “If you thought that mouse was scary, wait until you see a squirrel.”
MICHAEL BERNA
- “He says to stay completely still until your shift is over.”
KAYAL SHEPARD
- “The alarming thing is that it is an indoor elephant.”
JOSE AYELLA
- “I asked you to stay away from my diving board.”
JEFF SAWYER
- “He wants to know if he sees any fires.”
JUAN KONNO
If you want to see how we made our selections, we recorded the process and posted it on our YouTube channel.
Do you like what you see? Subscribe to our YouTube channel to watch more episodes of the Subtitle Contest.
Just a reminder, the rules have changed a bit. The winner will receive half of the money we raise from participants (which could be much more or much less than $500, depending on the level of participation), and the five finalists will split the balance. Additionally, there is no longer a limit on the number of entries you can submit, but after the first three you submit for a $5.00 entry fee, each additional entry is $3.00.
The prize money increases with each participant, so encourage your friends to play.
And if you haven’t already ordered my book in the subtitle contest even though it’s been available for almost two years, click the following link: