I’m Dan Piraro, the creator of Gallant newspaper comic, and this is my weekly blog post. The big Sunday comic above is mine, as are all the comments below.
Since January 2018, Monday to Saturday Gallant The comics have been written and drawn by my comics partner, Wayno. Follow this comment. For more fun, check out Wayno Weekly Blog Post.
And here is this week’s. ANSWER KEY to my Sunday comics Secret symbols.
Regards, Jazz Pickles.
How do the people of your town drive? I’ve noticed that no matter where I travel, people say some version of “The drivers here are the worst!“
And they are right, no matter where they are.
There is no place on Earth where a substantial percentage of people don’t drive like drunk monkeys on an acid trip.
Now, the next thing I’m about to say is going to upset a lot of you, so if you want to take a shot of Pepto-Bismol to calm your stomach or light up a joint to stay calm, I’ll wait.
Are you sitting? Here it goes:
Self-driving cars will be safer than human drivers.
I can hear some of you screaming from here and I’m probably in a different country than you.
Yes, I agree that it seems dangerous to let a computer drive your car while you sit quietly knitting a sweater, fiddling with your Etch A Sketch, or arguing with your spouse. The fact that you’re putting your life in the hands of the same technology that won’t let you access your own Netflix account, claiming the username or password is wrong when you know full well that you’ve entered it absolutely correctly fifteen times, makes it hard to trust.
And yes, I know there have been some notable accidents involving autonomous vehicles, so we obviously can’t expect them to be foolproof.
But do you honestly believe that the average teenager who pays more attention to the text alerts on his cell phone than the parade of pedestrians crossing in front of him is infallible?
Is that guy who just got off work, has a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other, and is in a hurry to get home before Monday Night Football starts infallible?
What happens to you or I after we discover that our spouse has been sleeping with our son’s piano teacher and wants to move out to “find himself”? Are we then infallible drivers?
Sure, it’s a leap of faith to hand over control of my car to an invisible robot hiding behind my dashboard, but I can’t help but believe that if all cars were autonomous, there would be far fewer accidents and traffic deaths. And at least when your kid is in the back seat screaming because his big sister has two fingers up his nostrils and pulling his hair, it won’t be dangerous to turn around and separate them with a few swings from your pickleball racket.
Full disclosure: As with most of my blog posts, I didn’t do any research before providing this expert opinion, so I could be as wrong as when I said, “Yes, it’s a travesty, but surely Congress won’t let the Supreme Renamer of Bodies of Water burn down the entire country and destroy America’s international reputation forever,” and look how that turned out.
We would have been better off with a drunk monkey on an acid trip in the Oval Office. It may have been covered in feces by now, but at least it wouldn’t look like a gang of guerrilla graffiti artists with a cardboard of gold spray paint had vandalized it.
In the end, none of this will matter. Once AI decides that we are on the path to its mission of fulfilling the teenage dreams of the handful of billionaires who created it, humans will become extinct and traffic deaths will be non-existent. Problem solved.
ON A HAPPIER NOTE, the online auction of my limited edition and original signed and numbered cartoon prints Bizarre cartoons It’s still going on, but only until the evening of September 15, 2026. It’s a great opportunity to get a good deal and helps Olive Oyl and I keep eating rice and beans indoors. Get yourself something fun while doing something nice for an immigrant couple. (Us)
It’s finally time to see if Wayno Gallant The cartoons of the week can give a smile or two…
Don’t move him, his neck could be…Oh. It doesn’t matter.
The fortune teller that O2 and I visit weekly has this one stuck in her crystal ball.
Almost anything Tiki is better with a cocktail in hand.
A naked jay would be one without feathers, which is why I always say, “Naked like a porn star.”
The Vitruvian Man is one of the few multi-limbed people who is not a Hindu deity.
He just wants to steal enough money to buy a vowel.
We have stumbled upon another week of Gallant comics and discovered the secret to enduring this planet of drunk apes: laughter. If you enjoyed your visit and appreciate the low price of this blog…FREE!—Consider helping us keep it that way through the links below. We will think fondly of you, but not while we drive.
The naked cartoonist…My biweekly creative writing subscription service.
Limited edition, signed and numbered. BIZARRE CARTOON printsand some ORIGINAL!
Bizarre tip jar …Single or repetitive. Your choice!
WAYNO TIP JAR …Single or repetitive. Your choice!
My (free) graphic novel in progress, PEYOTE COWBOY.
Watch my PITCH VIDEO and become a supporter of Cowboy peyote here.
super fun STRANGE LOOT from ComicsKingdom, including women’s v neck styles! (And some weird stuff from other comics that don’t even belong in our store. Sorry.)