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I’ve heard you say that you feel that women are not well written, and that’s why you write your own things.
I think they might just be some of the roles I’m being offered or being auditioned for. I’ll even get a kind of intro like, “This is a good one.” I say, “Okay.” And then she’ll be like the bride or something. I say, “Don’t we know each other? I’m the neighbor who’s going crazy. I’m a fool.” Maybe there just aren’t many of those roles, but I just say, “I’m going to write for myself.”
While preparing for this interview, I read many other interviews and when you describe yourself as a child, the word that comes up often is “annoying.”
I bothered people.
That can’t be true.
I don’t think it was anyone’s fault or anything. I think I was just talking loudly, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I completely lacked concentration. Unfortunately, this creates an annoying person. He was loud and I think the teachers were trying to teach and teach. I couldn’t sit down and do the thing. Unfortunately, as a kid, I think it took a toll on me, because I didn’t know comedy was an option. So of course you think, “I guess I suck in this world.” Now I think, “Oh, okay. I was creative.” But no one said to me, “Maybe you’re creative,” until my mother did when I was 18.
And did you believe him?
I think I was like, I will try, because there is nothing else for me on this planet if not this.. So if this doesn’t work, jeez. We’re screwed.” I think it was desperation, like, Alright, I’ll try something because I can’t do the school thing, so I’ll do this.. At 18, I tried to go to college for a week, dropped out, and felt like a loser. We are in a different time now. I think people feel a lot more liberated about not going to college. It wasn’t on Instagram. I didn’t know this was an option. Then I saw other people going to college and I went, I stink. oh my god.
And that’s bad internal dialogue, but it was the truth. I didn’t have an example. So I went and worked at Sephora and they were wonderful and they taught me makeup and all that, but then I wasn’t happy there. Then I’m leaving Ashley, you idiot. Why can’t you be happy? This is life. Hey, you can pay for an apartment. How wonderful. You are ascending in this place. What’s wrong with you that you can’t accept this? But there was a voice in me that said: I’m not happy. I’m sad. And my mom saw that, and how cool of her to say, “This might not be for you.”